


to hold

by katierosefun



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (but make it platonic), Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Season/Series 05, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29583903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katierosefun/pseuds/katierosefun
Summary: “What—” Ahsoka looked up and, where she had expected to find a mumbling drunk, she found instead—“Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka asked, stunned. She straightened, already swinging her backpack around herself again.“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan managed. He was breathing hard, just barely bent over because he was supporting, Ahsoka realized dumbly, Anakin.Anakin, whose head was lolling against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Whose face was two shades too pale and eyes fluttering and lips parted in a soundless groan that brought Ahsoka right back to battlefields and med bays and other places that she hadn’t been in a long, long while.[or: after leaving the Order, Ahsoka runs into some familiar faces.]
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 25
Kudos: 281





	to hold

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by the song [congratulations by blue october](https://open.spotify.com/track/5JBqISOEhyNyISj5E4THUO?si=RT7xcefpRQ65IYC2rw9fPA), but i wound up listening to [my family by lee yun ji](https://open.spotify.com/track/1Mnso6lBveo4vjNYiG5ZsA?si=0yOTpm8xQuqNeXG7vgXa2g) on repeat while writing this, so if you'd like to listen to some quiet guitar/piano while reading this fic, there you go!

There were some things that Ahsoka was prepared for: rent (because she pays rent now), unruly customers (because she deals with unruly customers now), and midnight outings with Trace (because…she goes on midnight outings with Trace now).

And then there were things that Ahsoka wasn’t prepared for: like literally crashing into two people who she hadn’t meant to see in a long, long time.

This was how it happened: Ahsoka, swinging around to check her pack as she walked forward. Rooting around to make sure she had everything and that she hadn’t left her keys in the garage again. Elsewhere, her mind was already wandering off to the next day’s plans, including tending to that motorbike that someone had dropped off earlier that day.

A moment later, she hit something hard—no, not entirely hard, but still hard enough to knock her backwards.

“What—” Ahsoka looked up and, where she had expected to find a mumbling drunk, she found instead—

“Master Kenobi?” Ahsoka asked, stunned. She straightened, already swinging her backpack around herself again.

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan managed. He was breathing hard, just barely bent over because he was supporting, Ahsoka realized dumbly, Anakin.

Anakin, whose head was lolling against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Whose face was two shades too pale and eyes fluttering and lips parted in a soundless groan that brought Ahsoka right back to battlefields and med bays and other places that she hadn’t been in a long, long while.

“Please,” Obi-Wan said, and that was when Ahsoka realized that Obi-Wan was slipping too, and without another word, she rushed forward.

\--

Later, she wouldn’t be entirely sure how she managed to do it: how she managed to somehow steal one of the speeders she had just finished working on or how she managed to fly both Obi-Wan and Anakin to her apartment, and later, she wouldn’t be entirely sure why she had chosen to go to her apartment instead of a hospital, but her apartment had been closer, and—she wasn’t an idiot, and she wasn’t a novice when it came to things like stitches.

Obi-Wan was at least a little more awake when Ahsoka stopped the speeder. He jerked up his head, looking confused before registering where they were.

“Here,” Ahsoka said, opening the door. She walked around to the passenger side and pulling open the door, gestured for Obi-Wan to push Anakin towards her. Or for both of them to at least come closer.

Obi-Wan nodded, and a moment later, they were all stumbling backwards. Anakin between them, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka on either side.

Anakin groaned, his head dropping down. His eyes flickered open, one hand reaching unsteadily for his side—still bleeding through, maybe a bit more slowly now, but Ahsoka could make out the deep red even against the dark fabric.

Ahsoka looked over at Obi-Wan, whose face was tight. She noticed a moment later that he was favoring one shoulder of the other, and she made mental note to check on whatever was bothering him later.

Natural—that part still felt natural.

Ahsoka tightened her grip around Anakin. “Come on,” she managed. “We’ll take the lift.”

With that, they all headed into the building. Ahsoka had to punch the button for her floor a few times—the lights flickered once. Anakin’s head lolled against Ahsoka’s shoulder.

They rode up in near-silence, the only sounds being Anakin’s heavy breaths and Obi-Wan’s quieter ones. The faint buzz of the fluorescents above their heads. The noisy creak and squeak of the lift that should have been concerning but wasn’t concerning right now.

The doors opened, and Ahsoka hated that they had to drag Anakin for longer—why was her apartment at the end of the hall, anyways—but this time around, Anakin didn’t make a sound. Ahsoka wondered if any of her neighbors were awake. If any of them came out now, then…

They reached the door eventually. Ahsoka’s hand fumbled for her key. It only took her one time to actually open the door.

Finding the bed was easy enough. Ahsoka disentangled herself out of Anakin, rushed into the refresher for the med kit. She ripped out some cloths, ran it over with water, soap. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if the wound was infected.

Obi-Wan had already dragged up Anakin’s tunic by the time Ahsoka arrived. Even in the dim light of her apartment, Ahsoka could make out just how deep the cut was. The blood already staining the sheets.

“Okay,” Ahsoka said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Okay.”

Anakin’s eyes had started to open. He looked at Ahsoka, his gaze unfocused. His lips moved soundlessly, and Ahsoka wondered what he was trying to say—if he meant to say anything at all. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to.

Ahsoka looked down at the wound. She applied the cloth on the wound first. Anakin winced, but Ahsoka was already dabbing it away. “Sorry,” she said to her hands. Blood was already starting to stain.

She found the bacta patches in the med kit a moment later. Ripped open the packaging, let the wrapper float to the ground.

Ahsoka set the bacta patch over the gash. Anakin let out a small sound this time around, his head dropping back into the bed. His hand fumbled for the patch, but Ahsoka knocked it away.

“Just stay put,” she said, looking at Anakin. “Okay?”

Anakin just looked at her. Ahsoka thought he was going to say something—he _looked_ like he was going to say something, but then he sighed, his eyes fluttering back shut.

Ahsoka swallowed. She turned to Obi-Wan. His back was pressed against the wall, and from the faint light outside, Ahsoka could tell that he was tired—but still, his eyes were open, and only when Anakin seemed to relax into sleep did he breathe. Ahsoka could tell he was breathing, at least—just from the sudden looseness of his shoulders and the way his head dropped.

“Now you,” Ahsoka said. She exchanged one soaked cloth for another as she moved towards him. Obi-Wan didn’t try to get away, not even when Ahsoka started to turn him around.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“I’m still checking,” Ahsoka said, her eyes skirting down to Obi-Wan’s shoulder. There, she saw the wound—made from a blaster, by the looks of it. Not as much blood, but when Ahsoka started to peel back the tunic, Obi-Wan stiffened.

“Sorry,” Ahsoka said. She looked at Obi-Wan. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” Obi-Wan replied.

Ahsoka looked back at the wound. When she peeled down enough of Obi-Wan’s tunic, she could actually see the full-on wound—the angry red of singed-skin, the unsettling hole that used to make Ahsoka squirm when she was younger.

She wasn’t younger.

Ahsoka dabbed the cloth over it first, just in case. Obi-Wan stiffened again, but he didn’t cry out.

“Okay,” Ahsoka said quietly. She set the bacta patch over the wound and stood back for him to drag the tunic back over his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said.

“Don’t mention it,” Ahsoka replied. She walked back to the med kit and snapped it closed. The noise hadn’t even been that loud, but Anakin stirred. Not enough for him to fully wake, but enough for his eyes to open again, his head to shift against the bed.

“’soka…”

Ahsoka paused, med kit still in her hands.

Anakin’s eyes were closing again. He sighed, and Ahsoka wanted to, too. She would have if Obi-Wan wasn’t awake and watching.

“I’m putting this back,” Ahsoka said unnecessarily. Without waiting for an answer, she walked into the refresher, closing the door behind herself even though she knew that she didn’t need to do that either.

Ahsoka slid the med kit into place. Washed her hands longer and harder than she had to, even long after the smell of bacta and blood had faded from her skin. Ahsoka wiped her hands on the paper towel until they were dry enough to crack.

When Ahsoka walked back out to the main room, Anakin had completely fallen asleep. Obi-Wan had moved him a little, she realized. Just enough for Anakin’s head to not be completely lolling off the bed.

“I’m sorry for this,” Obi-Wan said now. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. “For intruding.”

Ahsoka wiped her hands on her trousers, even though her hands were already dry. “It’s—”

 _Fine_ , she almost said.

“You two might as well stay here,” Ahsoka said instead. She nodded to the bed. “It’ll be a little cramped, but it’ll work for the two of you.”

She walked to the other side of the room, picked up her backpack.

“Where are you going?” Obi-Wan asked quietly.

“Does it matter?” Ahsoka asked the wall. She adjusted the straps on her backpack, hands fumbling. She couldn’t pull the strap properly—it hung too loose around her shoulders, and Ahsoka had learned that was a mistake when walking around certain parts of the lower levels.

“I would hope it does,” Obi-Wan said.

Ahsoka turned around. Obi-Wan had stood up, just a step away from the edge of the bed. Ahsoka would have told him to sit down—something in her wanted him to sit down, but something else kept her standing near the door, one hand wrapped too tightly around her backpack strap.

“Not going to do anything dangerous, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Ahsoka said. “Or anything illegal.”

“I wasn’t asking that.”

“Then what’re you asking?”

“I was asking where you were going.”

“Out,” Ahsoka replied. “A friend’s. I could stay over at hers—you two can stay here for the night, move out whenever you both feel safe enough to move…” Ahsoka dug a hand into her pocket, searching for…searching for…where was the stupid communicator, anyways—

She heard Obi-Wan’s footsteps. Ahsoka dug her hand as deep down into her pocket as she could. Her fingers brushed against the stupidly small device, and she had just started to tug it out when Obi-Wan stopped in front of her.

“Here,” Ahsoka said, extending the communicator. It bumped against Obi-Wan’s ribs. “I have a matching one. If you two need help—if there’s some kind of emergency here, just call. My friend’s place isn’t that far from here.”

“How far?”

“Does it matter?” Ahsoka repeated.

“It does,” Obi-Wan replied. He pushed the communicator back towards Ahsoka—nothing more than a gentle nudge, but the communicator still clattered to the floor. Ahsoka hadn’t meant for it to do that.

She bent down, picked it up. “What was that for,” she muttered.

“You should stay here,” Obi-Wan said. “These streets aren’t—”

“Safe?” Ahsoka finished. “I can manage.” She attempted to give the communicator back to Obi-Wan—he didn’t take it.

Ahsoka sighed. “I’m _really_ not in the mood right now,” she said, and she let the communicator drop between them again.

She turned around, started for the door again. She had just reached the handle when Obi-Wan said, “And tomorrow?”

Ahsoka paused. She didn’t bother turning around. “What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow,” Obi-Wan repeated. “When Anakin wakes.”

Ahsoka’s hand curled over the handle. She squeezed it hard enough to probably leave an indent in her palm. She turned around, found Obi-Wan not watching her—he was instead bending down slowly, gingerly to pick up the communicator.

“You don’t—” Ahsoka started, but Obi-Wan had already stood back up. He held the communicator in his hand, twisted it around before holding it out for Ahsoka.

Ahsoka stared at it.

“Stay.”

\--

Ahsoka didn’t remember who actually got into the bed first—it might have been Obi-Wan, whose eyes were starting to close anyway, and she knew that he was relieved to finally be off his feet. She was almost sorry for keeping him up for as long as she had.

Ahsoka found herself in bed too—somehow, in the time between herself standing at the door and herself now, she had traveled to this bed and was now observing the way Anakin’s chest rose and fell next to her. On Anakin’s other side was Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka wondered how comfortable he could have been with an injured shoulder—but he hadn’t complained, not that Ahsoka would have expected him to either way.

Ahsoka curled her hands around the sheets. She could smell Anakin’s sweat, the coppery tang of blood that had at least faded since they had all first come in.

Ahsoka watched the lights from outside dance across the ceiling—flashes of orange, red, blue. Someone was being chased down by the police droids.

“How did it happen?” Ahsoka asked at last.

For a moment, there was no response, even though Ahsoka knew that Obi-Wan was still awake. Not fully awake, but probably just awake enough.

“Chasing someone down,” Obi-Wan murmured. Ahsoka could tell that his voice had given up somehow—too weighed down by exhaustion and injury. “Quicker than we thought.”

“Oh.” Ahsoka closed her own eyes.

Then, equally quiet: “What were you doing?”

“Just closing shop,” Ahsoka replied. “I work now. As a mechanic.” She didn’t have to add that part. She didn’t know why she added that part.

Yes, she did.

“That’s…good,” Obi-Wan said.

Ahsoka opened her eyes, lifted her head just the slightest, as though that movement alone might help her see Obi-Wan’s face. But she didn’t—Anakin was in the way. Anakin, with his face slightly turned towards Ahsoka’s, his breaths just barely evening now.

Ahsoka lowered her head back on the mattress. “I know it’s good,” she decided to say.

They were quiet.

“Is everything…” Ahsoka hated how uncertain she sounded. Hated how small her voice sounded suddenly, how young. But she still wanted to ask. Felt as though she had to ask. “Is everything okay?”

Obi-Wan didn’t respond.

If Ahsoka had been anyone else, she would have thought Obi-Wan had fallen asleep—that was because he was quiet for so long.

But right when Ahsoka was starting to wonder if maybe she should just try to sleep herself, Obi-Wan replied, “What kind of answer do you want?”

Ahsoka looked again—she couldn’t see Obi-Wan’s face, but she could see the movement of his head. See how he turned away so that his face would be directed towards the wall instead.

Ahsoka lowered her head once more to the mattress.

“I don’t know,” she said, tightening her grip on the edge of the blanket. “What kind of answer do you want to give?”

Obi-Wan didn’t answer this time around either.

Not after the first minute, not after the second or third or fifth or eighth or tenth.

Ahsoka waited, but this time she knew that he was actually asleep.

Ahsoka propped herself up on an elbow and looked down: first at Anakin, whose lips were slightly parted now, his brows furrowed. At Obi-Wan, whose face was still tilted away, his shoulders tightly drawn.

Gently, lightly, Ahsoka smoothed out the tightness in Anakin’s brow. He sighed, his face turning briefly up to Ahsoka’s fingers before relaxing again.

Ahsoka reached over to Obi-Wan. The shoulder would definitely hurt more in the morning if he kept sleeping in the position he was now—so she dragged him back just the slightest, just enough for his body to be straightened again. Obi-Wan sighed too, this one lighter than Anakin’s.

Ahsoka watched them both for a while before slipping back under the covers. She tugged the covers as high up to her head as she possibly could and, rolling over on her side so that she wouldn’t be looking at either of them, fell asleep.

\--

“Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka opened her eyes. It was pitch black this time around—no police lights, no oranges or reds or blues. Just darkness.

“’soka—”

Ahsoka sat up, the covers slipping away from herself. “Anakin,” she said, blindly reaching for—yes, that was still Anakin. Still Anakin, sleeping in her own bed, still Obi-Wan beside him. Everything was real. Including the fact that they were here, and the fact that there had been a stab wound and a blaster wound, and…

“Ahsoka—” Anakin’s voice became more plaintive, higher-pitched. “Don’t—”

Ahsoka felt the mattress shift as Anakin sat up—too quickly, too quickly, he shouldn’t have done that, because the cry of pain that came after was enough to make Ahsoka’s own stomach hurt.

“Anakin?” A moment later, Obi-Wan was up, and even though Ahsoka couldn’t see Obi-Wan, she knew where he would be looking and what he would already be aiming for. “Anakin, what’s—”

Ahsoka’s hand scrambled for the light. She flicked on the lights above them, shining down on the mess of blankets and sheets—all of them had gotten tangled over the course of the night so far, especially with now three people sleeping in the same bed—but more than that, Ahsoka noticed almost right away the strain in Anakin’s face, the blind reaching of his hands.

“Don’t,” Anakin repeated. “Please…”

“I’m here,” Ahsoka said. Without thinking, she took Anakin’s hand. “Right here.”

Anakin opened his eyes.

For a moment, he just stared up at Ahsoka. Eyes not focused, lips just barely parted.

Then, closing his eyes, Anakin sighed. His hand went slack in Ahsoka’s.

“Is he…” Ahsoka looked at Obi-Wan, who just shook his head.

“Only another dream,” Obi-Wan said. He looked at Ahsoka, his face just barely shadowed. “Seems that it’s passed.”

 _Another_.

Ahsoka’s stomach twisted. She looked at the hand she was holding. It was strange—she couldn’t remember if she had ever actually held onto Anakin’s hand this tightly before, but now she could feel the familiar callouses, make out just the faintest of old scars.

Ahsoka squeezed it once. She leaned over to turn off the light, but before she could, she looked at Obi-Wan.

He was still sitting up, one hand resting on Anakin’s other arm. Ahsoka saw the look on his face—and he noticed her watching, because Obi-Wan looked up.

Ahsoka didn’t look away. Her hand still hovering over the light switch, she asked, “How often?”

“Every once in a while,” Obi-Wan replied. More shadows seemed to dance across Obi-Wan’s face. “He doesn’t sleep often.”

Ahsoka looked down at Anakin, at the still-furrowed brow. He twitched, his head turning a little towards Obi-Wan.

“Yeah,” she said. “I can see that.”

She turned off the light, lowered herself back into the mattress. She heard Obi-Wan do the same a moment later, but neither of them fell asleep.

Ahsoka stared at the chronometer on the wall. Even in the darkness, she could see the minute change…see the next…

“If you’re wondering about Anakin…” Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet. Even though Anakin was completely asleep now, he still spoke in a whisper, as though afraid to wake him. Or maybe wake the rest of the world. “You’re not at fault here.”

Ahsoka wrapped her hand around her corner of the pillow. She stared at the chronometer, but she couldn’t make out the minutes anymore. The numbers blurred.

“This is something he has to…let go of first,” Obi-Wan whispered. “So don’t feel guilty.”

Ahsoka closed her eyes. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It was supposed to be the truth.”

Ahsoka turned around. Obi-Wan turned to her.

She let a second pass before turning back around. She reached for the covers and tossed them over her head. She hoped Obi-Wan wouldn’t be able to hear her breathe. She hoped Anakin wouldn’t either.

\--

Ahsoka woke to hearing quiet murmurs above her.

At first, she didn’t know why—and then she felt a hand on her arm. A very distinct hand, one that was familiar. Ahsoka knew that hand.

“We can’t just leave her.”

“Anakin…”

“What if she—”

“She helped us. More than helped us. That should be—”

“Don’t say _enough_.”

Ahsoka’s arm numbed over. Her chest, too. It was too early in the morning to feel this way.

Ahsoka heard Obi-Wan sigh a moment later. “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Then what _were_ you going to say?”

“I was _going_ to say that—”

“You don’t have to wake me up,” Ahsoka said. She opened her eyes and, sure enough, she found Anakin and Obi-Wan both already sitting up in bed. Anakin’s hair was tousled, and there were bags under his eyes, but at least he was conscious. And at least had enough energy to fight with Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan looked only maybe a little better—his face was still too pale, and he looked more tired than anything else, but he was speaking, and he seemed more alert. Warier, too, especially as Ahsoka sat up fully.

“You two are better,” Ahsoka said simply.

Anakin just looked at her. Ahsoka knew that he was tracking her movements, trying to find her somehow in this new room.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan replied. “Thanks to you.”

Ahsoka only shrugged. She pushed herself off the bed, turned around to Anakin and Obi-Wan.

They looked back at her.

“So,” Ahsoka said. “What now?”

\--

 _What now_ looked like sitting in a diner at seven in the morning, apparently.

Ahsoka wrapped her hands around the mug of caf just for something to do with her hands. She wasn’t particularly hungry, and Obi-Wan and Anakin both didn’t seem like they were in the mood for much, either.

“How’re you feeling?” Ahsoka asked them.

“Better.”

“Fine.”

“Okay,” Ahsoka said, looking down at her mug. She saw her reflection in the dark liquid. Sloshed it around once, just barely letting some of it drip down to the table.

There were at least other people in the diner—early workers, mostly. Or workers who had just come in from a night shift. Even one little family. Ahsoka watched two mothers wipe the ketchup off their child’s face.

She looked back down at her caf.

“Are you…” Anakin’s voice drifted. He had been doing a lot of that lately. “How are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, and I’m fine,” Ahsoka replied. She looked up once. “I’ve been working. Mechanic stuff, mostly. They come in handy.”

Anakin nodded. And nodded.

Obi-Wan just took another sip of his caf—not tea this time, Ahsoka noted. Which meant that he must have been _very_ tired.

“How are you?” Ahsoka asked instead. “Both of you.”

Obi-Wan and Anakin looked at each other.

“We’re…”

“Also fine,” Anakin said. “You know, apart from the…” He gestured vaguely at himself.

Ahsoka nodded.

They went back to examining their mugs.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ahsoka saw Anakin tap the table. Just a few taps—one-two, one-two, one-two…like a heartbeat. Like the heartbeat Ahsoka had felt right under Anakin’s wrist when she had held his hand last night.

Ahsoka watched his hands.

Obi-Wan’s hands were still on the table, but Ahsoka watched them too.

She tightened her own hands around the mug.

“I’m glad that you guys found me when you did,” she said.

At that, both Anakin and Obi-Wan looked at her, but Ahsoka kept her eyes on the mug. “I’m glad that you two are feeling better, and I’m glad that things are mostly okay. Mostly.”

She looked back up at Obi-Wan and Anakin. They were looking at her too. Waiting for her to say something else, but Ahsoka didn’t even know what else she wanted to say either.

She realized that she might not have anything to say.

Not right now—not yet.

Ahsoka stood up. “If you guys are ever in the area again,” she said slowly, “then just look for Trace Martez’s garage. She’s pretty easy to find—and I work there now.”

She fished out a credit and set it on the table.

She walked away one step, two steps. She was halfway to the door.

Ahsoka paused.

She heard breaths—slow, steady, even breaths. Not her own. Not from today. From last night—breaths that intertwined with one another as three people fell asleep in the same cramped bed.

Ahsoka’s eyes warmed. She reached for the door handle. It was cold against her hand.

Ahsoka inhaled, closed her eyes.

She spun around and crashed right into Anakin and Obi-Wan, who were already waiting for her—and that made sese.

\--

She didn’t have anything else to add, anything else to say—and neither did they, but that didn’t really matter.

Ahsoka just held onto them for a long, long while.

They did too.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments/kudos are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> aaaand, if you feel like it, you can find me on my [tumblr](https://katierosefun.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
